Saturday, June 7, 2008

Grasping


Arthur let out a low groan. He was horrifed to discover that the kick through hyperspace hadn't killed him. He was now six light years from the place that the Earth would have been if it still existed.

The Earth.

Visions of it swam sickeningly through his nauseated mind. There was no way his imagination could feel the impact of the whole Earth having gone, it was too big. He prodded his feelings by thinking that his parents and his sister had gone. No reaction. He thought of all the people he had been close to. No reaction. Then he thought of a complete stranger he had been standing behind in the queue at the supermarket before and felt a sudden stab { the supermarket was gone, everything in it was gone. Nelson's Column had gone! Nelson's Column had gone and there would be no outcry, because there was no one left to make an outcry. From now on Nelson's Column only existed in his mind. England only existed in his mind { his mind, stuck here in this dank smelly steel-lined spaceship. A wave of claustrophobia closed in
on him.

England no longer existed. He'd got that somehow he'd got it. He tried again. America, he thought, has gone. He couldn't grasp it. He decided to start smaller again. New York has gone. No reaction. He'd never seriously believed it existed anyway. The dollar, he thought, had sunk for ever. Slight tremor there. Every Bogart movie has been wiped, he said to himself, and that gave him a nasty knock. McDonalds, he thought. There is no longer any such thing as a McDonald's hamburger.

He passed out. When he came round a second later he found he was sobbing for his mother.

h2g2 - DNA

Friday, June 6, 2008

Linen


The pile of dirty sheets
Once dirty and crumpled
Now slowly replaced
By soft, delicate, silken
Intricately woven linen
Stretched out tightly
Until it reaches
Our fragile Edges
Supporting and binding
As if it had
Always been there
Lovingly supporting - but
Held down by Us

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Ellen



So many things to say
So many feelings slowly stepping into the room
Silently, one by one
What makes me cry is that you have always
Been a little girl
All your life and mine
And it is not based on sadness

That is what you really are to me
Everything else was and now is nothing.

I miss you very much, Ellen. I never ever called you that, and I should have.

I am happy I said I love you last time we spoke, and I should have done it many many many more times. But you know I do. I know I do.

Ellen 1935-2008



Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Motion Stop Motion Stop


It just stopped me in my tracks again, creating a distance. I went there, saw the photo and it just takes me all the way past the moon, beyond Pluto.

Silence. Complete stillness. Like stopping a film.
Then I rapidly zoom in (to that blue dot) again, slowing down the closer I get. I am still far away and my vision gets nearer and nearer.

What I see creates desire, like that first moment seeing someone that makes everything stop. Thought, heartbeat, movement. I just look. And do not know anything. And as the seconds go by it dawns on me, slowly... I desire, I love, I need. I know!

I feel the need to see it every day, justify the attraction, the urge, the absolute necessity of being close to her. Zooming in from that moment of just seeing something my eye likes to something the very essence of me can't do without. All through being able to justify my belonging to her and her to me.

The unreachable becoming part of me. I can't really explain it. Just see... just look. What it might say to you, it tells me loudly, clearly a tousand times over. It is, and I may be repeating it out of sheer wonder... seeing yourself without understanding it is you. Seeing her and realizing you love her and she loves you back.

Who is she?! I want her! She is me! And all the palette of colour and sounds between those exclamations. The incredible speed going far away, the moment of pause, the acceleration back and the warm, soft, deep re-entry into reality.

That is what that black and white picture does to me. That is what she does to me. That is what she is to me and why I need her.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Naked Writing From My Bed Of Dreams: A.T.C. Faery blessings



My wonderful Isis posted such a beautiful Artist Trading Card today!

Naked Writing From My Bed Of Dreams: A.T.C. Faery blessings

Some old Haikus


You said there are only two types of smiles? Here are some that come to mind late at night...


Showing me your Love

Through the most amazing smile

Your eyes on my lips


Pop Rocks on my tongue

You look at me stifling giggles

I'm clumsy Man-Boy


When banned on photos

Your everlasting lips surround

Those wrist-owning teeth


Tantalizing smile

I know there is no escape

He is yours tonight


Sometimes I ask You

Silent smile answers questions

Without speaking words


Five in the morning

My sweet self-perceived rag doll

Smiles me to a halt


Inspired I surprise You

And You smile your acceptance

Surprising me back


Breakfast in our bed

How you look at me right now

Unscrambles my heart


You stretch so sweetly

And the early afternoon

Finds your approval


I could go on, but now it is time to sleep.


I Love You!