Sunday, December 21, 2008

Purple Squirrel



Baffled animal lovers are trying to explain why a PURPLE squirrel has turned up in the grounds of the school.

Teachers and pupils thought the rodent, who they have named Pete, may have fallen into purple paint or had a run-in with some purple dye.

Pete the purple squirrel has become a legend among staff and pupils at the school he visits. But people who have seen the squirrel say they do not believe this explains its even colouring.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1099282/Pete-purple-squirrel-leaves-animal-lovers-baffled.html

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Monday, December 1, 2008

Amusing Ourselves to Death

We were keeping our eye on 1984. When the year came and the prophecy didn’t, thoughtful Americans sang softly in praise of themselves. The roots of liberal democracy had held. Wherever else the terror had happened, we, at least, had not been visited by Orwellian nightmares.

But we had forgotten that alongside Orwell’s dark vision, there was another - slightly older, slightly less well known, equally chilling: Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. Contrary to common belief even among the educated, Huxley and Orwell did not prophesy the same thing. Orwell warns that we will be overcome by an externally imposed oppression. But in Huxley’s vision, no Big Brother is required to deprive people of their autonomy, maturity and history. As he saw it, people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think.

What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny “failed to take into account man’s almost infinite appetite for distractions”. In 1984, Huxley added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us.

This book is about the possibility that Huxley, not Orwell, was right.

(Foreword from Neil Postman's "Amusing Ourselves to Death")

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Gift

Sometimes, when uncontrolled thoughts sneak up on me... unwanted and unexpected, I should just visualize what she sat down to make. And I did.

What an inspiration it must have been, to do just this, just now, and hand it to me.

I just visualize a small golden heart, in the center on her and it helps. More than once already.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Want some :(

Writing...

Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
Don’t use no double negatives.
Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.
Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
No sentence fragments.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Steer clear of incorrect verb forms that have snuck into the language.
Take the bull by the hand in leading away from mixed metaphors.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Try to never split infinitives.
Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
I must have told you a million times to resist hyperbole.
Also, avoid awkward and affected alliteration.
“Avoid overuse of ‘quotation “marks” ’ “.
Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!!!
Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of ten or more words, to their antecedents.
Write all adverbial forms correct.
Avoid un-necessary hyphenation.
When dangling, watch your participles.
It is incumbent on us to avoid archaic phrases.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
It’s hard to imagine a phrase when you will have needed the future perfect.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst.
A preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.
Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Friday, October 3, 2008

a small list...

i miss the 'wipe your paws' in front of the door
i miss having stairs to run up and down all day long
i miss getting us red bull
i miss playing guitar hero
i miss us not going to the pool systematically
i miss missing you when we are on a different floor
i miss running late for stuff
i miss having to ask you to close your eyes before i switch on the fan/light
i miss the scent of the jeep, humid, when i get inside of it
i miss my sunglasses
i miss laying in bed, listening to you in the shower
i miss sneaking chocolates from the living room table
i miss the sound of the windspiel in the back porch

these are just some small things that come to mind... there are much bigger ones, but i do not even dare put them in writing

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Saturday, August 30, 2008

They said she was like a rainbow...



... and I did say that a while ago, I just noticed.

My Rainbow, a rising one, into infinity...

Red, as the beautiful passion that is in Her and in Me
Orange as the rising sun over the rolling hills
A Star close to my heart, burning Yellow to incandescent
Fruitfully Green, promising, the sensual power of Nature inside
Vast and Blue as the skies, around me at all times
Mysteriously and exotically Indigo with depth and weight
Violet, embracing my heart with Her beautiful loving perfume

Friday, August 29, 2008

Ever

I have never loved anyone as much as this woman.

Ever.

I know I will never need anything else as long as I live

Little girl: Please?
Father: I'm not paying attention to you.
Little girl: Pleeeeeeease? Do you want me to cry? I'll cry. Do you want me to cry, daddy? (holds up stuffed owl) Just get this for me and I'll be happy, please?

--Gift Shop, Museum of Natural History

from www.overheardinnewyork.com

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Soft Good Night

Her Soft Good Night

It brings immediate images to my mind. That soft, girl-like good night from Her. Whether it is by itself or one of the many names she calls me. One of the many things I am to Her.

Tender, thoughtful, drifting off to a place that will be safe after we speak. A place She and I will awaken from and live together.

That light voice, like a feather. I can hear it right now. It is stored within me. Deeply.

And I keep it there, lovingly.

Your Soft Good Night

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Pandoro (ha!)

I didn't want to open it. I said I did not and had not. Then I did.

And while just thinking about it right now, I feel precisely as I did when I broke the trust given to me and opened it - bloodless, dead, lifeless, anguished, confused. It was there. Shut tight, unopened. And I made it open again. It opens so easily now.

And then. Madness. Much later. I opened it again. Because it stared at me, over and over again. Tempted. Taunted me. Perhaps in the hope to find something there which belongs to the present. Which is ours.

Now it will be gone, and all I wanted was to have Us inside of it. Then it would never have to be opened again, I would just know, that is what she really sees in us and really thinks about me. What she wants me to do. What she wants to relive, but with me. What she needs from me. What makes her feel alive, wanted... what makes her sleep. Happy and Exhausted.

How f(e)ar can I go here...



I wonder now... perhaps if She would just know the blog is here, it would not have to be linked to anything of hers and I could just write away. Ans She knows it is here. For me and her.

Being private in public? Why even do this? Perhaps because I am now so deeply introverted about my life and my ambitions, that I suffer under it and wonder if it is just out there, somewhere... then it helps. As if it is a set of shared thoughts.

I just told her, no matter how complicated things seem to be, they are really incredibly and utterly simple. Are they? To be happy, life has to be simple.

The truth is also more simple than any constructs. And I do not meen lies. I mean place holders one makes for one's self. Thoughts of how things are, were or should be? To calm the thoughts. To make the bad ones go away or at least have their own place. And why does it have to be sexual?

It's difficult being simple. To be a child. But I want it and I will get it. Childish, perhaps.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Minime



This little guy is something like 28 years old. My moder made him, no idea why... and I found him hidden in a corner somewhere in the old house.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Just the right thing...

I firmly believe
And I know it has worked in the past
That no matter what the mood or situation

If I am the right one...
(And I do know that I am)

Saying precisely the right words
Finding exactly the right gesture
Pointing out that one special detail

Will help and solve and bring out
That smile that shows me how much I am loved
The one I have grown to live for

... and those times when I failed to do these things
To know I learned my lesson
And not forget it
The next time

Still tempting...



I wonder when it will stop and go into the background... but perhaps I am just impatient.

No, I am just impatient.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Insomnia



After observing and thinking... I have come to the conclusion that the best way to fall asleep when you can't... is to force a smile on your face.

I mean, if you have to force it. Otherwise, just fall asleep. It also makes you look cuter if you smile, and that can't possibly be bad.

To stay asleep, I still insist melatonin works best.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Cuddly Moments of the Day

Cuddle-Flashes today:

New York, that Frenchulicious Cafe/Bakery thingie with the excellent salads, the really unamerican bread and you next to me. Sequences of perfection.

Key West, introduction to Merengue with naked Japanese onlooker. Any instance of Merengue thereafter. Any future instance of Salsa.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Face of the Enemy (NHN)

After 48 hours...

"nerve endings begin regrowth
ability to smell and taste improves"

Sounds like Spring in late Summer. Let's see what it tastes like.

I do know that a Benson & Hedges now would taste like failure.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

24 hours after last one...

"Chance of a heart attack decreases"

How does that affect heart-ache?

8 hours after last smoke...

"Carbon monoxide level in blood drops to normal
Oxygen level in blood increases to normal"

Yet I do not feel normal at all.

Or perhaps it was that Rothmans Blue 15 years ago that re-defined normality for me?

20 minutes after the last cigarette

"Blood pressure decreases
Pulse rate drops
Body temperature of hands and feet increases."

Hmmm... perhaps I will sweat less?

Create

When you don't create things, you become defined by your tastes rather than ability. Your tastes only narrow & exclude people. So create.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Alone

Completely alone again
Went to sleep
Alone
Woke up
Alone

Deal with me as well sometimes
Help me when necessary
Please?

I try to... all the time

My Dreams

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Couldn't help it...




I am not sooooo much into the lolcats thing... but I couldn't help but save these two.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Highest Waterfall in Florida



Much to my surprise there is a waterfall in Florida. The highest one is in the conveniently named "Falling Waters State Park" and apparently... it is the only one. A whopping 73 feet of year-round waterfall yumminess.

Some 8 hours by car from our home in Fort Lauderdale, it is practically smack in the middle between Pensacola and Tallahassee. Interesting feature... the water drops straight into a sinkhole and goes underground. So if we ever do a tour, for instance to New Orleans... we have to make sure we stop by there.

There you go, I was wrong and mislead to make fun of Florida and its not having any cascades!

Luckily!

And here is a link to it: Falling Waters State Park

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I watched some videos today...

So I watched some of our videos today. Quite a lot actually, considering how many things I have to do.

Some very sweet...
One I need to get used to but I will eventually...
And it made me dig up some of the older ones.

Hmmm... not bad at all what we have done so far and how we came, not bad at all.

Looking forward to making many more together. With the puppies too, of course.

Threat Level Codes

A recent conversation made me check the actual colours of threat levels... and I did that by digging up a snapshot from a recent Daily Show skit on how the glorious president of the US downgraded North Korea from the axis of evel status. (btw: now it is a corner or point of evil... only Iran)

Monday, July 14, 2008

Why we need art...

... or artists... or find our inner artist or incite people to create things. I have my "PROPERTY OF ISIS" bracelet... do you?

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Today's Definition of Happiness

And it is: A Girl with Puppies

Now I wish I could distinguish the new little little one already, but soon I will. And I can't wait. And I miss her more than anything in this world!



No
Double
Entendre!

Family Seal


Or rather, family squirrel?

With some ambition to nobility someone had his mentally ill cousin draw this. So much for noble origins.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Rain



Rain outside
Rain inside
Rain inside the inside
Sometimes, perhaps, I try too much

Sometimes, perhaps, unwilling
I have to take a step back
Insist at the right time
Before I create unhappiness

Just move aside a tiny bit
After doing what I should
Trying to do something good
Before I have to face the It

My energy is at its lowest
Doing it all for the daily fight
Seeking our unique playful light
I find only a dense dark forest

Bring it magically out, insist
"Enough now, I will return
With much more strengh to burn!"
Til then, silently - painfully - desist

And still - it is perfectly clear
How could I possibly just hide
Unable to withstand, lacking pride
There is no other way but to be near

The card house of my intention
Falls apart right away
Silencing the thoughts
Never meant to be even considered
Confused like syllables and rhymes
I still wait for my normal self
Please, return, do not just change
And stay this way. I need you, Me.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

What a week...



Completely exhausted. And it was more than a week actually. I think the whole month was a lot of running around with only one highlight and joy.

I want that back. Constantly.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Cascades

Yes there are those times
A soft waterfall appears
Ours out of nowhere

So a magic word
Warmest of nature's touches
Expression of Love

Caressing landscape
Flowing on vegetation
Creating a pool

It is on our path
Whether we want it or not
Pure delight for Us

A Wild look around
May sometimes help us to glide
But pure it is best

Yes there are more times
A soft waterfall appears
Ours out of nowhere

Thankfully



Painting: Grey Line by Georgia O'Keeffe

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Ell... A and O

On my desperate search back to Her
Somehow we invited Him in again
With unlimited transfer of Ownership
Just reconfirmed and welcomed

Curious how it felt this time
Curious how I felt this time
And why I expressed it
Immediately understood

While thinking of Her lovingly
It feels like it was the first
Even the second time
All the time

Exploring, Re-Opening
Defining again
Resuming growth
Passionately

This is what we want
And what we found back again
To keep
As long as our hearts beat

[curious thing i just noticed for the first time... latin ending for female (a) and male (o)... taken together means everything... Alpha est et O(mega)]

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Silent World



http://trinixy.ru/michael_kenna.html

Waterfalls





We discovered waterfalls
She discovered them
We got a guide
We followed it
And we found

Not as glorious
As the ones in Lichfield
She saw long ago
Without me
Just our small ones

But they grow
They are hidden
They will be found
The world is huge
And I will keep travelling it

The last one was hidden
We went up
And it was down
But we found it
"You see, we found it" She said

So keep melting
Let it rain
Make things flow
We will come and visit
And keep you in our hearts

Friday, June 27, 2008

Al Anul



At times you turn a corner
Or just don't go to bed
(like you should)
And suddenly She surprises you
Turning Us into children
(like we should)
With an open mouth...
So I wonder
(like i should)
If we had three moons
Or four?
Would we ever get used to this one?

She is just a part of Earth
Reflecting Life
Like a mirror
Turning distant Gold
Into precious Silver
Making the unreachable
(reachable)
At any time of Day or Night



(this is from the series... wow... *I* wrote *that*?)

ATCs and Twinchies



Two by two she said. Two by two? Oh, inches. And what topic? None? Just anything? So not only do I have to impress her with my non-existent crafting abilities, I have to find something that makes me look good 'intellectually'. And I do not even have a good pre-defined topic to hang on to. Oh well. The golden Pyrgi Tablets had Phoenecian and Etruscan on them, they helped understanding the latter language a little better. Nearly a Rosetta Stone and I was conveniently reminded of them in my book about alphabets. And it has to have a stamp. Next time, give me a twinchie topic! ;-)

And...

The night before I made this, again with a real artist's help (ignoring some of the advice)... my ambition with the "Venus Hides" ATC was to keep the testosterone levels high while playing with some of the nice toys Isis has for her crafting. I will add more shine to things next time around. And seeing it like this, as a small photo, it gives much more away than the ATC card in your own hands.



I loved working on these things, can't wait to do more. And there is a scrapbook project that needs to be worked on and prepared. Prepared and worked on (preparing it will be FUN!). But I won't be able to post it here without being punished.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Practical form of Dancing

Vocation

It's not the easy way through life, it's a calling. Vox Dei. It will not reward you financially, it will certainly involve suffering, a tested iron resolve and many setbacks. Frustrations will certainly be on one's path, pain... fear.

You don't sneak your way to it, it doesn't fall into your lap. The fulfilment is for the soul, only for the truly spiritual. It lets you look into the mirror proudly. It also brings good to others, based on altruism, a vocation is not limited to the one who receives this summons to reach a goal or a state of mind.

It is always there, this desired ambition. It makes us smile, gets us out of bed, fills us with joy. And sometimes, during sleepless nights, at the end of an anxious daydream, after a painful drop... it steps out and reminds me why we do what we do.

My vocation is Us. The luscious waterfall at the end of the trail. And higher above it, is another waterfall, and then another... until the smallest, purest and most powerful of sources is reached.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I Love You

You look at me and say "I Love You"
I simply reply "I Love You, very much"
Helpless with my own words
Needing to express so much more

When you finally fall asleep
To my voice
Desperately trying to hold you in my arms
With my voice

What about my arms though?
They need you
They need to hold and feel
The warm, soft, loving package that is You

Finding Love in so many ways with You
Surpassing what I ever felt before
If you could only be me right now
If you could only be me, hours before we parted

Needing to express so much more
I sit here, Far away
I think, I will just have to show You
Rather than just express, my Love

Sunday, June 8, 2008

I want to be the water

I want to be the Water
Now around You in your bath
Taking away the pain
Cleansing Your skin
Surrounding You
Moving with You
Still when You are

I need to be the Water
Warm and soft and giving
Imposed upon but with its own mind
Caressing Your body
Holding You tight
Making sure you stay
Hiding the tears

I have to be the Water
You look at yourself through me
You may even smile
As anguish, worry fall off
Changing who You are before you entered
And your sigh reflected on me
Has a different sound

I must be the Water
You look forward to
After a hard day
During a hard life
So You just stay with me
In a special place
And I bathe with You

Right now no feeling is stronger
Than knowing what I am right now
Wanting to change it
Changing it forever
So that finally
Transforming what is now into reality
I will become the Water



(now this photo finally has words)

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Grasping


Arthur let out a low groan. He was horrifed to discover that the kick through hyperspace hadn't killed him. He was now six light years from the place that the Earth would have been if it still existed.

The Earth.

Visions of it swam sickeningly through his nauseated mind. There was no way his imagination could feel the impact of the whole Earth having gone, it was too big. He prodded his feelings by thinking that his parents and his sister had gone. No reaction. He thought of all the people he had been close to. No reaction. Then he thought of a complete stranger he had been standing behind in the queue at the supermarket before and felt a sudden stab { the supermarket was gone, everything in it was gone. Nelson's Column had gone! Nelson's Column had gone and there would be no outcry, because there was no one left to make an outcry. From now on Nelson's Column only existed in his mind. England only existed in his mind { his mind, stuck here in this dank smelly steel-lined spaceship. A wave of claustrophobia closed in
on him.

England no longer existed. He'd got that somehow he'd got it. He tried again. America, he thought, has gone. He couldn't grasp it. He decided to start smaller again. New York has gone. No reaction. He'd never seriously believed it existed anyway. The dollar, he thought, had sunk for ever. Slight tremor there. Every Bogart movie has been wiped, he said to himself, and that gave him a nasty knock. McDonalds, he thought. There is no longer any such thing as a McDonald's hamburger.

He passed out. When he came round a second later he found he was sobbing for his mother.

h2g2 - DNA

Friday, June 6, 2008

Linen


The pile of dirty sheets
Once dirty and crumpled
Now slowly replaced
By soft, delicate, silken
Intricately woven linen
Stretched out tightly
Until it reaches
Our fragile Edges
Supporting and binding
As if it had
Always been there
Lovingly supporting - but
Held down by Us

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Ellen



So many things to say
So many feelings slowly stepping into the room
Silently, one by one
What makes me cry is that you have always
Been a little girl
All your life and mine
And it is not based on sadness

That is what you really are to me
Everything else was and now is nothing.

I miss you very much, Ellen. I never ever called you that, and I should have.

I am happy I said I love you last time we spoke, and I should have done it many many many more times. But you know I do. I know I do.

Ellen 1935-2008



Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Motion Stop Motion Stop


It just stopped me in my tracks again, creating a distance. I went there, saw the photo and it just takes me all the way past the moon, beyond Pluto.

Silence. Complete stillness. Like stopping a film.
Then I rapidly zoom in (to that blue dot) again, slowing down the closer I get. I am still far away and my vision gets nearer and nearer.

What I see creates desire, like that first moment seeing someone that makes everything stop. Thought, heartbeat, movement. I just look. And do not know anything. And as the seconds go by it dawns on me, slowly... I desire, I love, I need. I know!

I feel the need to see it every day, justify the attraction, the urge, the absolute necessity of being close to her. Zooming in from that moment of just seeing something my eye likes to something the very essence of me can't do without. All through being able to justify my belonging to her and her to me.

The unreachable becoming part of me. I can't really explain it. Just see... just look. What it might say to you, it tells me loudly, clearly a tousand times over. It is, and I may be repeating it out of sheer wonder... seeing yourself without understanding it is you. Seeing her and realizing you love her and she loves you back.

Who is she?! I want her! She is me! And all the palette of colour and sounds between those exclamations. The incredible speed going far away, the moment of pause, the acceleration back and the warm, soft, deep re-entry into reality.

That is what that black and white picture does to me. That is what she does to me. That is what she is to me and why I need her.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Naked Writing From My Bed Of Dreams: A.T.C. Faery blessings



My wonderful Isis posted such a beautiful Artist Trading Card today!

Naked Writing From My Bed Of Dreams: A.T.C. Faery blessings

Some old Haikus


You said there are only two types of smiles? Here are some that come to mind late at night...


Showing me your Love

Through the most amazing smile

Your eyes on my lips


Pop Rocks on my tongue

You look at me stifling giggles

I'm clumsy Man-Boy


When banned on photos

Your everlasting lips surround

Those wrist-owning teeth


Tantalizing smile

I know there is no escape

He is yours tonight


Sometimes I ask You

Silent smile answers questions

Without speaking words


Five in the morning

My sweet self-perceived rag doll

Smiles me to a halt


Inspired I surprise You

And You smile your acceptance

Surprising me back


Breakfast in our bed

How you look at me right now

Unscrambles my heart


You stretch so sweetly

And the early afternoon

Finds your approval


I could go on, but now it is time to sleep.


I Love You!